The first time I ever seriously considered becoming a nurse was when I was in hospital with my first. I was there for ten days due to pre-ecclampsia, so I met a lot of nurses. A small handful stood out, and while I don’t remember names; I do remember their faces and the emotional support they provided. I remember thinking “I could do this, I could be this kind of support for someone”. I know that nursing is so much more than that…but I really think it’s something I would be good at.
This year I have taken a pretty big step…I going to uni to study nursing. I was actually enrolled a few years ago until I fell pregnant with our second. The pregnancy was considered high risk and I didn’t think I would be capable of studying with a newborn, so I unenrolled before the year began. Now my kids are 4 and 18 months, and there aren’t any plans to have more…just yet, so it’s the perfect time. I am enrolled, I have my textbooks and all my stationery…I am ready, I think.
My classes start at the end of this month, and I find myself getting more and more nervous as the days count down. My first attempt at uni didn’t go so well, and while I have completed a few TAFE certificates since then, uni is a whole other level. I try to tell myself that I’m older now and that this is something I’m feeling quite passionate about…but there is still that little niggle in the back of my mind. What if, in 6 months or a year, I am not enjoying it or worse yet, I’m failing. I expect a lot of myself and would be disappointed with low grades, even though I know the whole point of studying is to learn. Just because I think I’ll be good at something, doesn’t mean I have the brains to actually get there. I’m hoping that everything just clicks when I start, and I’ll love every aspect of studying and that will motivate me through the tough times.
My hubby is studying part time this year as well, so we have been looking around at child cares for the kids. I knew child care was expensive, but when you are on a limited budget…ouch! We will be eligible for both the child care benefit and rebate from Centrelink, but not until I am on Austudy. But I can’t go onto Austudy until I actually start uni, or it will affect my current payments. I wanted to put the kids in care one or two weeks before we started uni. Having worked in child care, I know it can take some kids time to settle, so I wanted to be available in case I was needed. Unfortunately, we just can’t afford it without assistance from Centrelink, and even then it will be an uncomfortable stretch. My hubby’s and my uni timetable work pretty well together, in that one of us can be at home with the kids. I just really wanted my eldest to go Kindy this year, considering he is due to start Prep next year.
There is going to be a lot of juggling this year. I am not the most organised person and have been known to procrastinate, but I’m determined to see this degree through. I have a weekly diary, my timetable is up next to my computer and I am going to do this; I will think positively and all that stuff. It’s been a while since I’ve had to believed in myself and my academic ability, but I can do this…I hope.